Simply Growing Up

, but I feel nothing! At least, I try to. Since I have to claim myself as a salafi, in no time, I am proud not to feel anything particularly happiness, in approaching the next day. Well yeah, it will be my birthday. I feel nothing, and I am proud of it. Currently I don’t think having a birthday commemoration is necessary. Yes, people will say, it is the time to look back to what we’ve done to our life. Life is so short. We should make it useful. People will say it is the time to gratify. We can live well until now, and did we say any thanks?

Whatever people say, I still won’t give anything on it. Tomorrow is still the same day. Tomorrow is still Wednesday, where the sun will rise in the morning, where I always have to compete with the sun, as always. There won’t be any significant warning for me that I am not mature enough to have the title of 21 years old. I still will be 21 years old, even when now I can’t manage my time well, or even I always need someone to wake me up in the morning.

Well, Julia has been a week in da house. She’s lovely with all the German’s character. But not the butt-head. She is so polite and looks fragile (or just because she’s that slim_). I don’t want to give any further comment, for it can be bad.

I regret one thing, that this last week I’ve been very busy with my friends, tasks, lectures, and research proposal. So that I couldn’t accompany her. I couldn’t even think to learn Deutsch. I didn’t know that she currently is a cat-walker a.k.a model until my mom found it out (and it makes sense with all her eating style).

I am looking forward to going to Karimunjawa with her, either just the two of us or with anyone. And to having Deutsch class, and to spending the spare time together.

I got to go now, I have to pick my mom soon.
Jaa, ganbatte, ne!

Well, thank God, all I can say. I have passed this semester’s exams. Whatever the result will be, I feel like I have done my best. I sacrificed my time to sleep and play, I read a lot, I realized many things lately. Though the results won’t always be exactly like we struggle for, I am hoping for the best. And even though these whole months I spent in vain, such as watching TV shows, sleeping, going around, I still fought for my fate these two weeks. I hope it will be paid off.

Since blogging will always be full of one’s life story, I want to share one. Uh, some, I mean. I am currently attending an Arabic course. Yeah, lughatul arabiyah. It’s twice a week. It needs recalling every time we get there to attend. It consists of nine girls. All are diligent, except me, maybe. I always feel I am smart enough not to so often recall the stuffs.

We are going to a step of what-so-called nahwu. Way different. Yeah, I am challenged. Moreover, I concluded that every time I got home from the course, I gained some of my confidence and existence (maybe it’s an improper word). I feel alive! I feel worthy. I feel I am quite important to exist here on earth. I live to learn everything, to notice and feel the senses of Allah’s creations. So it gives me certain satisfaction, even now, while I still can not understand a long sentence in Arabic. I always love to learn language. Even, on the last course on yesterday, the ustadz told us the importance of studying Arabic. That’s definitely our own language!! We use it everyday!!! And so on and so forth, with my heart soon became fired up just by hearing that.

I can say I am trying to provoke anyone reading this, that learning Arabic is beyond interest. It’s a need. It’s one of our way to be a real moslem, if we are one.

Now let’s jump to debate. Yeah, debate. One of my important things to be struggled for these months, after the previous final exams, research proposal, work camp, and for sure, Arabic course. We are facing the competition. It’s next week!!! Huahhh.. I really have to jump. Jump from all-night-alertness to another one. I need to read a lot of materials, otherwise I will be humiliated in front of everyone in the comp. I need to reduce my ‘medhok’ness, otherwise I won’t be able to catch anyone’s attention. I need to learn, I need to make big steps!

I do hope for that event. This really is my chance. As a girl who claims herself as having low confidence, I need this opportunity so bad. This is again my chance to prove to myself that I am able. I can do it, if I want. I can make it. Opportunity never comes twice.

About the research proposal, we are struggling together. My friends and I. We are five. We are curious and enthusiastic. We are motivated. We’ve planned the steps. Thus we will start our act soon. Big one!

I have no time to have the euphoria of post-exam days. Yeah, instead of doing this blogging, I mean. I need to go on. It’s always been good to be a moslem. There’s always be a verse about something. Even now, that “Do the next thing after finishing something.”

Well, no time to be wasted in vain. Our future depends on what we do NOW.